Office ~ Study ~ Place

I am a very fortunate guy.  I have a great work space at the church and now I have an office at home.  But maybe you can help me.  I really don't want it to be an 'office.'  That sounds so formal and implies that work must be actually done in that space.

I like Pastoral Study.  But I don't like workplace, headquarters, or administrative center.  In monastic life it would be a cell.  As an writer, it would be a studio.  If I painted on stretched canvas it could be my gallery or a creative center.  If I were a jeweler it would be the location of my work bench with burned in dots of gold and maybe a little diamond dust.

It could be a hide-a-way, a hermitage, or an arcade.  If I was rich, it would be a den. I guess it could be a nest, a lair, a hideaway, or even a cave. No, I don't think so.  It will just be my spot.  Not a like a stain or a smudge, but my spot where all is well in the world.  Drop in sometime.  Just turn left past the living room.  I'll leave the light on!

Thanks Suzi!

Singing with the Strings

It took longer than I thought to complete The Sign of Jonas but I hit the finish line early this morning.  What a ride!  I would highly recommend the 1947 - 1952 journal of Fr. M. Louis Merton. 

We all know him best as Thomas Merton even though he was simply born as Tom to Owen and Ruth.  His religious name of Father M. Louis takes him back to 1250 and the only sainted King of France.  The M. puts him in alinement with every Trappist Monk (and a long line of religious vocations) who carry the same first name.  It is the eternal connection to Mary the mother of Jesus.  Father Mary Louis Merton,  Father Louie to his monastic friends, Thomas Merton to the publishing world.

The cross on his grave at the Abbey of Gethsemani simply says  Fr. Louis Merton  Died  Dec. 10, 1968. He rests at the foot of a large and beautiful cedar that stands below the ancient bell tower that calls the community to worship and prayer seven times each day.

Merton is well know as a contemporary mystic who focused on contemplative prayer.  His journal entries in The Sign of Jonas take him through his ordination as a priest, to his leadership as the Novice Master, and on to a wonderful reflection called Fire Watch, July 4, 1952.  Along the way, he speaks frequently about the nature of prayer.

On March 21, 1950 he shared an insight that continues to resonate in my mind.  Prayer comes in many forms.  Sometimes it is public, a part of the literary, or quiet, perhaps personal and private, maybe even formal and ritualized. But it is all flows from the heart of God through the activity of the Holy Spirit.

He says that the various types and styles of prayer represent the same Spirit of God playing different strings of the same instrument.  You are the instrument, the Holy Spirit is the musician, and the harmony of prayer that results is centered in God. 

Merton doesn't offer this invitation, but I will.  Make your music count!  Enter into the concert of human desire as often as possible.  The harmony of your heart will create the symphony of creation.

The Sign of Jonas

Cover Sign of Jonas 1953

I just finished a pair of Beeson Center courses that were focused on the spiritual formation of Christian leaders.  One of the class groups was filled with North American pastors while the second had an enrollment of international Christian leaders from ten different countries. 

My effort was to filter their personal experience of Christian growth through the lens of folks like Thomas Merton, Henri Nouwen, E. Stanley Jones, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Mother Theresa, C.S. Lewis and the like.  I also confess that my personal experience seeps through from time to time like a dim light under a closed door.

Merton and the Trappist rule of life becomes the centerpiece of the conversation.  It happens that way because I get to decide who will achieve the priority position.  John Maxwell would say, "Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less."  Merton at the threshold is my way of influencing the conversation!  No secret there.

I am also getting ready for an upcoming group that I will be leading at the Benet Hill Monastery between Parker and Colorado Springs. www.benethillmonestery.org   I will be doing "A Day With Merton" in January and a six week segment in their contemporary mystics series.

To get ready I am reading and rereading the key Merton biographies and some of his core work.  Right now, I am engaged with The Sign of Jonas.  It is his journal that starts with Advent 1946 and goes through January of 1952.

The copy I am reading is just as interesting as the actual text that I am engaging.  It is an original copy from 1953.  It is not a first edition but it must be very close to the earliest publication.  The inside cover shows a famous black and white photo of Merton walking through the woods at Gethsemani.  Just inside the first page is a library stamp from the Carmelite Monestery of Waverly, New York.  If you turn the next page it has a second library stamp from the Discalced Carmelite Fathers at 514 Warren Street in Brookline, Mass. 

I don't know if it started life  with the Carmelites in New York our with the Fathers in Massachusetts and I don't know where it will go from here.  But I do know where it calls home today.

On May 4, 1947 (six months and one day before I was born!) Merton wrote a prayer.  His journals are filled with reflections, insights, and the daily events of Trappist life within the cloister of Gethsemani Abbey.  But on this day, he wrote a prayer.

You have made my soul for Your peace and Your silence, but it is lacerated by the noise of my activity and my desires.  My mind is crucified all day by its own hunger for experience, for ideas, for satisfaction.  And I do not possess my house in silence.

But I was created for Your peace and You will not despise my longing for the holiness of Your deep silence.  O my Lord, You will not leave me forever in this sorrow, because I have trusted in You and I will wait upon Your good pleasure in peace without complaining any more.  This, for Your glory.

 Even though I was being knit together in my mother's womb...I pray that my soul will intersect with the spirit of this prayer.

First Snow!

Skiers will jump and shout.  Travelers will say 'Oh No!"  The Colorado Chamber of Commerce will offer a fist pump.  But the rest of us will just say, 'Yep, it is Colorful Colorado, and we love it!"

October 5 and we have our first hint of snow and cold.  Of course it will be 60 degrees tomorrow and 70 by the weekend!  So don't fret for us.  (That may be a good title for a country song!)

Actually, it really is a great joy to reaffirm that God has a plan for creation.  The sun rises, the moon glows, and the seasons change.  It is all within the rhythm of creation that demonstrates the harmony of the Lord of Life.  I am grateful!

Some of us have actually been talking about how we develop an attitude of gratitude.  It too is a gift from God.  Like all of creation, our attitude is a gift that we receive so it can be shared with others.  Don't you just love living in a spirit of gratitude!

I remember an old friend from days gone by.  Every time I would ask, "How are you today?"   his response was always the same signature (and painful) reply...."Terrible" he would say.  At first, I smiled.  Then I thought, 'wow, what a bummer!"   Then I just stopped asking because I already knew the response.  The result was not a model of Christian brotherhood.  In fact, I felt compelled to stay clear of his attitude even if he thought it was a cute and clever signature response.

The opposite that "terrible" was my uncle Jess.  In most circles he was better known as "never had a better day" Jessen.  How are you Jess, "never had a better day!"  Funny thing is, he really meant it!
What a gift to live in a spirit of gratitude. 

Today, I am grateful for snow and the hand of God that directs the flow of creation!

Movements of the Heart

Is your faith shaped by movement?  Is  it growing?  Does it have direction?  Are you seeing the hand of God drawing your forward?

These questions (and many more) are central to the journey we call the Flow of Faith.  Faith was never intended to stand still.  It is a gift of God that was designed to be motivated by grace and enhanced by our internal desire to offer a life that is pleasing to God.

It all starts with our internal ability to hear the invitation of God.  It moves to our willingness to say Yes to that invitation.  That 'divine yes' (see E. Stanley Jones!) will motivate us to grow in the knowledge and likeness of Christ.  Before long, we will discover a place to serve and a way to express our gratitude to the Lord.  It is a movement of the heart and it pleases God!

Each day gives us a new opportunity to please the Lord.  Some days are better than others!  We can all acknowledge days when we know we did not fulfill our potential in Christ.  Then there are other days we we know in our inner being that God has been directing our steps so we can grow closer to the heart of God.  It is a flow of faith that results in movement at the heart level.

Last week I had the unique opportunity to spend several days with a group of remarkable Christian leaders.  They came from Russia, Romania, Bosnia, Hong Kong, Korea, Nigeria, Kenya, England, India, and even one from the good ole' USA!   They spoke hope into my life because I could see God moving through their ministry journey.  I could see the church coming alive.  I could experience the growing flow of faith through their words and their faithful gift of discipleship.

But the flow of faith (the movement of the heart) is not just for Christian leaders.  It is for you and for me.  It is a gift for every believer.  John 1 says that 'for those who believed, he gave the right to become children of God.'  As children of God the 'right' to our inheritance is the gift of growth.  It is a gift that is offered with a wonderful sense of abundance.

It is your gift, have you received it?  Did you get the package God sent your way?  Go ahead, open it!  It is the gift of movement and that comes complete with a plan for growth.  Grow a step today!  Why not!  It is a gift!

A Step in the Next Direction

I was walking to the church the other day when I discovered that I was silently and inadvertently counting my foot steps.  What a strange thing to do.  Then I thought about the hill that goes up Flying Ranch Road.  Every time I climbed it on my bike, I would count to 100 over and over with each turn of the pedal.

Highway 24 on the way to Limon has another one of those 'counting' hills.  It is just outside of Matheson as you elevate to the real high plains.  It too requires a 'count' to 100 technique to keep me on task.  So counting my footsteps shouldn't be so unusual.

Footsteps are interesting.  They get us from one place to the next, they demonstrate our desire to move forward, and they go forward much easier than they go backward.  The life of a Chritian happens one step at a time.  Some run, others tend to stand still, but true faith is always lived out on the move.

I mentioned that each year I evaluate my 'next steps' for my journey of faith.  I take time each January to evaluate, update, and renew my commitment to growth.  Here is my 'next steps' plan for 2012:

Personal Rule of Life

Randy Jessen

2012

 Inward Disciplines

1.         Morning prayer and meditation seeking God’s will for my personal and professional life.

2.         Daily prayer for family, staff, lay leadership, and general intercession.

3.         Daily study of the Scriptures that are outside teaching and preaching responsibilities.

Outward Disciplines

1.         Seek increased ways to simplify life style in accordance with the Gospel.

2.         Set aside specific time of solitude outside designated time for personal prayer.

3.         Continue support of Walk to Emmaus.

4.         Work to develop a strong positive missional relationship with the Methodist Church in Costa Rica, Haiti and the Global Hope ministry in Romania

Continuing Education Goals

1.         Participate in at least one major conference on congregational life, preaching or leadership.

2.         Develop time for Gethsemani retreat

3.         Create a continuing education event for pastors and lay leaders related to prayer and spiritual formation.

4.         Read at least one new book each week related to leadership, spiritual formation, church development, stewardship, or vision.

Service Goals

1.         Continue service on the Conference Board of Ordained Ministry

2.         Be available for relational conversations with younger pastors

3.         Support the Asbury community through teaching, creating the Houston event, dissertation mentor, financial stewardship, student support, and student development

           

Personal Goals

1.         Ride at least 1500 bicycle miles on Old Blue in 2012 or new version

2.         Develop and ride at least one significant tour in 2012

3.         Stay in touch with my physical health through indoor / outdoor riding, time at the fitness center, and healthy eating habits

What's next for you?  Are there some footsteps on your horizon?

Miracles!

Many of you know our daughter Ana.  Here she is with one of her friends at a dance.  She loves to dance!  I usually call her Anababe but each day seems to bring a new name of affection and joy.  She is a gem!

You can read about her early life and our personal journey in the book titled Ana's Voice: When God Speaks Through A Silent Child.  There are copies in the church library or you can get an official Ana autographed copy by stopping in at my office or sending me an email.

But this is not about selling books, it is about miracles.  Ana is our miracle.  She was fragile and frail as an infant but today she is full of life.

One of the major obstacles she faced as a child was a small amount of contaminated blood.  There were lots to nasty things floating around in that blood but the most significant element was a cluster of cells that are make up something called Human Immunodeficiency Virus.  Most of us just call it HIV.

I remember 1984 when Ana arrived here in our home.  Many folks were scared.  Those were days of fear that was stirred by a lack of information.  HIV/AIDS simply meant death.  And no one really wanted to be around.  Even the brave were a bit frightened.  But Ana is a really great teacher. She smiles with a shy grin. She didn't know that her blood was deadly or that people found her a tad intimidating.  She was just trying her best to make sense out of a life that was turned upside down with a move from a Romanian orphanage to a home in Colorado.

Then along came Dr. Myron Levin and the Denver Children's Hospital CHIP Team.  They developed a plan, started on a course of treatment, studied every step, and became a core part of our support system.  Today, 18 years later, they are still standing with us every step of the journey.

Dr. Levin designed a sequence of medications that were administered with great care and monitored each month.  The medications all do something just a little bit different but on the whole they stop the virus from attaching and attacking the T Cell that allows the immunize system to be healthy.

For Ana that looks like this twice each day without fail.  She says it it 'yucky' and she is absolutely correct.  But it keeps her healthy so she never misses a dose.  Kaletra, abacavir, epivir, specific vitamins, and a really unique diet are all a part of the miracle.

Isn't that the way miracles happen?  People like Myron work with the tools of the trade and God does the rest.  Miracles typically don't happen without some interaction between people.  I think we could call that relational theology!  God uses you, me, and folks like Myron to accomplish a demonstration of love that we simply call a miracle.

Sue and I used to have a little sign in the kitchen.  I liked it a lot.  It said, "A coincidence is when God performs a miracle and chooses to remain anonymous." 

Are you a part of the relational theology that is lived out through the anonymous coincidence of God?

Connections!

The last six weeks have been an adventure!  During that time I was in Kentucky for one week with a group of students.  The rest of the time Sue and I have been working hard to keep up with the calendar.  Each day (almost) we wake up and check to see where we are going that particular day and what time folks are expecting us to arrive.

We have been meeting with groups throughout the church.  Mostly in home gathering where gracious families are opening their living rooms to 10-15 of their friends.

So far (we have a couple more to go), we have met with 18 different groups.  The gatherings have covered every age group, each part of the community, and about every area of interest you might imagine.  It has been wonderful to make connections with so many people.

So what have we learned?  Here are some highlights...

• Many folks are exited about being a part of a small group and hope that more groups are created so the congregation can develop strong relationships
• Several have expressed a deep interest in the youth and children of the church.  They are excited about what is currently happening and wonder what it would be like to have more children and youth
• Some have been interested in what is happening so we can get on solid financial ground
• Others have expressed a desire to strengthen of facility through the development of more (and larger) classrooms, paving the parking lots, and creating a plan for friends who are disabled
• We heard loud and clear about a desire to have a van that could be used for the XYZ group as well as youth events and Sunday morning transportation
• There was a very strong interest in learning how I saw the future of the church unfolding.  I can say it in one word, endless!  Only limited by our desire, design, or decision making
• We had a number of folks who were interested in a growing mission ministry within the congregation
• And still others were interested in the worship opportunities that we offer to the community

The groups ranged in size from eight individuals to our largest that had over fifty gathered at the church so we could provide stronger child care.  The average group was 12-15 members strong.  Most were hosted in homes with gracious individuals making it happen. 

From the bottom of our hearts, Sue and I give thanks for every host home and for every person who came out to hear our story and to think together about the church.  It has been a wonderful blessing.  We are delighted to be here!

BTW: Genese and Linda really went the extra mile to make it all come together!  Thanks!

Early in the Day

It is early.  For me, it is the best time of the day. I know that does not fit for everyone.  For many, the early morning hours are only good for sleeping and then trying hard to wake up.  The late evening and really early morning hours are best for them.  They are creative, insightful, and energized when the clock shifts from PM to AM with the midnight hour.

But my best hours are in the morning.  Before sunrise is always the sweet spot.  It is a time to pray and a time to think.  I jot down ideas, thoughts, and must-do's on  a list before setting out for the day. 

Just a few days ago I had a quick conversation with Brother Christian at the Abbey of Gethsemani.  I happened to bump into him on the sidewalk that leads to the retreat house.  It was early morning just after the full break of dawn.  We shook hands in silence.  Then he spoke.  The first words of a Trappist monk are always interesting.  "Great time of day,"  he said.  "Yes, beautiful."  "I saw your bus, how many do you have." "Ten this time.  I will be back next month with ten more."  "May God bless them with a beautiful day of prayer."  He climbed into the Abbey pick-up and gave a quick wave as he drove away.  We hadn't spoken for almost four years.  We may not speak ever again.  But it was indeed a beautiful day.

The dawn is beautiful.  The early morning air is something to behold.  A fresh sunrise will refresh my spirit. But it is the gift of relationship that gives meaning and value to each new day.

Day By Day

The stage drama called Godspel hit the live theater scene in 1971.  It lives today through productions large and small.  At the center is the life and teachings of Jesus with a bit of a 'left-over-60's' twist.  There is truth and personal interpretation that sometimes helps and sometimes hinders the full presentation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

In the center of the story is a song called Day by Day.  The song plays host to a refrain that recaptures the words of a 13th century prayer.  Dear Lord, these things I pray...

May I know Thee more clearly, Love Thee more dearly, Follow Thee more nearly.

Years ago, I started wrestling with classic spiritual disciplines.  I launched a journey that would lead me to an experience with Jesus that has been sustaining for decades.  In many ways my experiment with the disciplines of the church reflect the words of the prayer that became a song.  These three things, O Lord, I pray; to know you more clearly, to love you more dearly, and to follow you more nearly.  

Some might call it the CDN of the Christian life.  It is the core of daily devotions and the center of faithful lives that are lived out around the world.  Clearly, Dearly, Nearly are three words that add value to our spiritual vocabulary.

My friend Will Mancini says that "Clarity isn't everything, but it changes everything."  That is true when it comes to living out a vision for the church and it is true when plotting a course for the spiritual life. Clarity in the way we see and seek Jesus will make all the difference.

Dearly, talks about relationship.  It is a loving relationship that is growing each day.  Wouldn't you want to describe your relationship with Jesus in this way?   Would that word be a part of your testimony of faith?  To love God with passion, conviction, and with a spirit of hope ... that is the goal.

Then there is the language of proximity.  To follow you more nearly.  I don't want to be left behind.  I don't want Jesus to get out of sight or out of mind.  I want to stay on track, to stay close, to draw ever closer because while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

CDN is a day-by-day process.  Day by day, these things I pray...